A "Letter" To THEM...

Well, what to say? Again I've been reminded how bloody awesome life is. I mean, isn't it just freaking great? And guess what? When you're pissed off to a certain point, you don't give half a crap about rules that tell you, you can't rant and rave on your own Blog. But I mean, do rules given to you by people who want to make your life a living hell count? I don't think they do, because people who just freaking make your life a miserable cesspool of pain, humiliation, and daily degradation don't deserve that kind of respect.

Now, you people, you know I'm talking about you. So if you're reading this, just to let you know I am of unstable mind at the moment. Either that, or I'm being self-indulgent, self-centered, self-absorbed, whatever the hell you wanna call it, again. I mean, that's what I am right? Just a pathetic 15, oh sorry, 14 year old who's too afraid to open his mouth to his parents because they threaten to take away the one source of enjoyment in his life.

I must applaud you, you did a freaking awesome job of moulding yourself the perfect wimp for a son. *Clapclapclap* No, seriously, not only have you insured that he's looked upon as a total nerd, or retard, or basically just an idiot, EVERYWHERE he goes. You have the power to make him feel SMALLER than he already does, if that's possible, and you just LOVE using it, don't you?! Yeah? I knew that.

I mean, how'd you do it? How did you ensure that I am to afraid to disagree with you on anything. Or even if I do, that I'd be too afraid to open my mouth? Is the that to within an inch of my life beating you hold over my head if I'm disrespectful? Well guess WHAT!? I don't WANT your bloody INCH. Just beat me to death! COME ON! I'm being disrespectful here! I'm talking to you like I would A friend. You aren't my friends, remember? You're in authority over me. Oh, come on, you said it yourself you hate me, my and my self-absorbedness. RIGHT? Yeah, you do. I'll even make it easy for you in court. I'll attack you first okay? Then you can say you killed my in self defense. How about that? Sounds good right? You get to kill me, the son you hate, and I get to die and LEAVE THIS WRETCHED LIFE, and you don't get caught. And the Newspaper gets another front page story, and the court gets a "Not Guilty" verdict. It's win, win, win,win,win! You know it!! So come on. Beat my sorry ass to death. You'd be doing me a favour, because you've also ensured that I'm too much of a pansy to kill myself.

So, how do you feel now. Yeah, I'm gonna take the heat for this later. Probably, if you even bother reading this like every other way you invade my privacy. Yeah? But since you're so good at reading my behaviour, you should have seen something like this coming, right? I mean, every person has their limit. But you see, that fact of the matter is. You don't WANT me, never did. I mean for Pete's sake, you wanted a girl when I was about to be born. You didn't even have a NAME ready. Not even as a contingency in case you got a boy, AND you waited two bloody weeks to give me a name, AND you just randomly flipped through the Bible to get it. So what does that show? You never wanted me. RIGHT? And don't give me this crap about me not being an accident. You know damn well that I am. Which is why you treat other people's children like precious jewels and me like a piece of crap, oops, sorry, household help. I mean why don't you adopt ARON since he's got such awesome people skills? Or Soon Seng, since he's so committed? I mean they can do no wrong in your eyes, right?

Go ahead, I won't mind. You get rid of the son you never wanted, and I get...I get away. Yeah. Now I'm probably gonna regret this later. But really, I don't care. Read it, get pissed off, kill me, grill me, take my PC away. Truth is, whatever you do? Can't make my life any worse. I mean, think back, when was the last time you said, "That's my son", instead of, "See your kid?" Or the last time you said "Good job." instead of, "You missed this and that, and this is bad?" You think about it, and maybe you'll have a rough idea of the world of pain I live in. You think it's hard to be parents? You try being me, LIVING WITH YOU. See how you like it.

I know I shouldn't be doing this, but seriously I've reached the limit. And this is all I can do, THIS is my pathetic way of flailing out at you. You're the big pillars that keep me shackled down. ONE word of praise, and I'd be the happiest kid ALIVE. But, heh, I guess I'm asking too much. Sorry. Well, I'm off to go do one of the things I have no choice in,
But Hey,
Life's Like That...A cesspool of pain, humiliation, and daily degradation? Hell yes.
Jared